Published on November 6th, 2014 | by Richard Black


Rethinking the Alphabet and a Few Concerns Regarding the Curriculum at My Daughter’s Preschool


The Devil’s Alphabet

There have been a lot of changes in education since I was in school. My mother, a woman who has been involved in education in various capacities over the past forty some odd years, is always telling me so and I have no reason not to believe her.

It’s a new and terrifying time in education these days for parents and, presumably, kids as well. New standards are being enacted, new methods are being used, everything is new which is generally something people my age find to be unnerving, upsetting or just downright scary.

Then again I’m pretty dull. Good looking by the way but not too bright.

I will say that from what I’ve been able to witness the things teachers and children are accomplishing these days is pretty amazing. I have seen grade school kids who can solve algebra equations and most of them weren’t even Asian, the kids that is not the equations. I’m not sure what’s going on in the other subjects but it’s probably just as profound which is why, when I picked up my daughter from pre school, and asked about her day I made a real attempt to remain impartial when I heard her response.

“So kiddo what did you learn today?” I asked my daughter.

“Katie wouldn’t play with me,” Darcy responded, sighed and stared listlessly out of the window in a way that reminded me of how awful it will be to raise a teen in nine years.

“Well bitches be trippin’,” I said. I’ve learned to roll with the conversation when it comes to my daughter.

“I learned the alphabet,” she said a few minutes later.

“The whole thing?” I asked which prompted her to belt out an abbreviated version of the ABCs at about 140 decibels.


L-M-N and X-Y-Z

Now I know my ABC’s

Won’t you come and sing with me”

“I think you missed a few,” I said and chuckled a little and normally this is about where a story would end, at least a story on another and perhaps more tasteful sight. I’d type up something about how cute little kids are and wrap it up in a nice little package. Maybe mention how one never knows how little our children know and end with a statement regarding the lesson I’ve learned from my daughter and my own blind spots before applying the thought to our politicians and other leaders.

Thankfully Darcy had other plans and gave the alphabet one more shot.



I’m not kidding here by the way. My daughter literally spelled out the words “porno ho” to the tune of the ABCs. As a disclaimer I should mention that I have never sung or taught my daughter how to spell “porno hos” nor have I viewed or invited any of them into my home.

Being an occasionally engaged parent I became a little…well let’s say curious as to how my four year old daughter came to be able to spell the term “porno ho” when she can’t manage to spell her own name or anything else for that matter.

There’s probably a good and reasonable explanation as to why my daughter can belt out the letters P-O-R-N-O-H-O to the ABCs but nothing plausible comes to mind. Maybe one of the kids in her preschool class has a parent who is, in fact, a porno ho. Maybe learning about porno hos is a little known part of the No Child Left Behind initiative of which most of us are unaware. Maybe it was take a porno ho to school day and I just missed the email. I couldn’t really say.

It’s a strange new world in education. Kids also seem to be growing up faster every day, a phrase I never thought I’d ever say but there it is. Darcy is only four after all and I didn’t learn how to spell porno hos or even understand their plight until I was well into grade school.

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