Unfit Father

Published on February 14th, 2017 | by Richard Black

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Make Every Day Sexy…Baby

This is about as sexy as I get. Take it in ladies.

It’s no secret that Valentine’s Day is here and that’s all well and good. Sure I typically do something special for my wife Laura on Valentine’s Day. I buy her flowers. Stargazer Lillies are her favorite which I loathe for their cloying scent but my wife loves them and, because I love my wife, I give them to her anyway.

Sometimes we even manage to get out for dinner. More often than not it’s an Arby’s or a Chipotle but every so often it’s a restaurant that’s a bit classier with table service and cloth napkins and even a wine list. We usually do our best to stay out until the sitter puts our daughter to bed around 7:30. That’s when the real magic happens and we start a movie before falling asleep on the couch during the opening credits.

All things considered it’s a wonderful day but it recently occurred to me that every day could be Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately I don’t have the cash to blow for flowers or even a meal at Arby’s every week but it turns out that there are some low to no cost ways to romance the fuck out of (or maybe into) your wife.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading on the subject and one astounding fact I’ve discovered is that women like to be seduced. Even more mind blowing is the fact that many of them also seem to like, how should I put this, risque pictures.

For the record “risque” does not equate to dick pics. While most heterosexual men sport a boner at the thought of a pair of tits or a female pubis women do not feel the same way about the male member. It’s high time for many single men living in their mother’s basement to face that fact that the penis is the least attractive portion of a generally utilitarian form.

Women, or so I’m told, like a narrative…a story to get revved up and I’ve taken the message to heart. It’s not easy. I’ve had to put myself out of my comfort zone and come to grips with my aging and decrepit body but marriage, or any relationship for that matter, is a journey and one of self discovery. I, for one, have learned that I need to be more attentive to my wife and, perhaps, start working out a bit more.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you all and know that there’s no need to thank me for these pictures. Just think of me when you’re having sex with your significant other and I’ll call it even.

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